Interesting question! It may have been addictive for me because I felt so broken that I kept looking for answers or “fixes”. Trouble is – to what can one turn, apart from therapy and spiritual approaches, when one feels miserable, broken, etc.? The comfort of belonging to a tribe or group of kinfolk – I had that some when I was a child, but it was also false and fake in lots of ways and has deteriorated now with the passage of time. And because of my brokenness I had few good relationships except for my late husband.

What else is there? I feel like the dancers in the movie from my youth “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” (Not that I have any such intentions, just feelings.)