Of course. That's why I blocked all my ways of contacting him for 30 days.

He didn't block me on chat or unfollow me on Tumblr, so... As one of my friends said, "if someone doesn't want you to contact them online, it's easy for them to remove the means to do so." That gives me just a little hope, but again, maybe it's just because he doesn't care.

Basically, I can't convince myself that he ever will, after that. And why would he? He asked me to leave him alone twice, and being at the height of an episode, I just couldn't listen, blamed him for being rude to me, and told him he needs help. If he doesn't talk to me again, I deserve it.

Plus, he thinks I'm still in love with him, which must be freaking him out. Part of me wants to reach out again and say "look, I'm not, OK? It's safe to talk to me."

But again, just venting my thoughts. I most likely won't.