I'm tired of fighting the invisible force. I'm just tired. There is nothing I can do to change how the world treats me and I want out. People don't like me, never have, never will. From teachers to kids to bosses.

I can't make enough money to afford rent. Relationships I attract reik havoc in my life. I have tried anything within my power and bad rains down on me constantly. My hope for a brighter future is gone now that my credit is gone and the education I wasted money on hasn't help me improve financially. I'm in debt with the government student loans, back taxes because of con, social security because I've tried to better myself. It's pointless, worthless, no one cares. I've even paid hundreds on psychics for spiritual help. There is no hope for me.

I'm becoming an angry bitter person. If something doesn't change for the better soon I really don't know what I'll do. I feel like a ticking bomb. The suicide I have fought so hard against is becoming eminent. I guess my soul is doomed. I can't fight it anymore.