I also keep my cool around others for the most part. I think it's because for moments I can squash all the feelings, & feel slightly better, they always come back though. If I didn't keep my cool as long as possible everyone would know & I feel like I would be forced to deal with the situation, instead of bury my head in the sand for moments of peace. Like no drugs to cover it all anymore because they are just making it all worse, but I wouldn't know where to start without them. I digress. My point was, what do you do? Continue to bottle it up & save those around you or lay it all out on the table & lose the chance to be free?