Are you diagnosed bipolar? I noticed you posted scores on your depression and mania. Did those scores come from a pdoc or did they come from psych central? If they came from psych central or any online quiz, please see a pdoc soon. I didn't read the full version of you story so I'm sorry if you already addressed this.

I ask this because I would imagine if I had convinced myself I was in love with someone (especially someone who had most of my time) and they rejected me, I would feel embarrassed which could present as anger (maybe even rage). I don't mean to belittle your situation at all and the ONLY reason I bring this up is because I don't want you to carry around a label that was earned after an unfortunate circumstance. I wish you well and hope you don't permanently lose a friend!