You need to go to rehab. I am a tiny bit concerned (not to get intimate), but I can relate to the being wired thing. I used to get strung out off of Fentanyl and would drink pots and pots of coffee in an attempt not to fall out. Being strung out is not a good feeling. You are not high, you are strung. It's not even recreational at this point. If you are a hard worker, do whatever you can to save your life, but go to rehab as soon as possible. Tell the truth when you get there. Also, why are you on both Buspar and Ativan? Is the Buspar your mainstay, and Ativan for breakthrough anxiety? All I can say is that, that is a lot of chemicals and you must be strung. I would stick to more organic substances if you could, like the Trileptal. If you quit you will go through some serious post-acute withdrawal syndrome. You may feel tired or want a fix, I struggle with it myself. But in the end it will pay off for you. Don't be in such a hurry, please!