Bud, I am not trying to fix your or anyone else's problems, only to share what I find helpful in fixing mine. As I said, I don't believe that even a therapist can fix a client's problems, or erase a client's deep wounds, only be there with you for some time along the way. Lately, I feel more grateful than ever to have had that while it lasted, and I am excited to find more of that in my life, and I can only hope other people will also be able to find the positives where they exist.

One of the reasons I insist that a therapy relationship is just a normal relationship is not to hold it to a lower standard, it is to appreciate that someone, imperfect, but someone, tried their best to be there with me in my most painful moments, when I had lost so many other connections and was so lost to myself. I'm glad that was available to me because if it had not been I wouldn't have had the strength to even reach out to someone in the first place. I got hurt but not in a way I couldn't survive, and learning that I could survive was actually a powerful lesson to me, that I was not helpless anymore. Applying that lesson is the real struggle but knowing it's true makes that possible.

I genuinely feel sad that you're still hurting, because if it's like what it felt like for me, I think it must be really awful. I just hope you will find what you need to recover.