And I have never had a good relationship. I am usually fighting for the relationship/the other person for most of the relationship, doing all I can to be worth it to the other person, to keep their love. It never works, of course. No one can love the real me, the troublesome me who has needs of her own. I'm usually the one who is left.

I'm always amazed at people who find someone to marry, who stay together happily for so long. I wish those of us who were ineligible could just stop feeling.