Keltie, can you go see a therapist? That would be your best bet. Unfortunately, none of us here are qualified (or even if some are able) to say yes or no to you having PTSD.

That sad, some of the symptoms you describe seem to fit with PTSD. There's lots of information online and even on this site that can help you.

On a more personal note, I have had it fairly severely for probably 7 years now and the scary part is that I just realized it. As did my psychologist of a year, though I think he's suspected it for some time. I even have had abuse in my childhood as well.

In my layman's experience, PTSD is very unique to each person. Basically, if you experience a trauma that you can not seem to disengage from in your daily life, after the initial threat is gone, and it goes on for a long enough period of time to truly disrupt your quality of life, then that definitely suggests that you have deep internal wounds. And as with any deep wound that will not heal on its own, medical treatment is always best.

I know that can be frustrating, expensive, and difficult, but if you can get to a qualified therapist to discuss these experiences, it might help immensely. I was initially very resistant to therapy, though I went willingly. Now after quite some time in it, I'm realizing just how much it is helping me and just how much I need it.

One other thing, go easy on yourself if you can. If you catch yourself comparing your trauma to others and saying yours wasn't as bad so you shouldn't feel the way you feel...well, I have found that just makes it worse. It's easy to victimize ourselves more in our own minds (I hope that makes sense the way I mean it - I just don't have the words. Sorry). What I'm trying to say is that you are a survivor, not a victim.

Best wishes to you.