No he is not doing it on purpose..... as I stated before it comes from his own inner fears of being close to any one he care about / loves.

And - YES, I have talked to him about it (he is not clueless here) - we have been married for 21 years and after the first 5 to 7 years together the closeness just seemed to go down hill (lacking if he was not in the mood for giving) - I guess it started up after he really allowed himself to care and to be able to feel his love for me, then he ran away from me and my emotionally needs.

I know that he is emotionally unavailable NOW!! - but honestly I did not know this in the beginning of our two year courtship or when we married back in 1986 - guess I was blind and mistook sexual passion the first 5 years or so of our marriage as him needing / giving to me..... for we where seldom apart from each other and we had sex all the time - Wild and Passionate.
.... I felt loved and wanted then.

I know guys are different than females - but I also know that we can work on changing that which we must, but first we have to be willing to over come the fear that keeps us in bondage - a bondage that keeps us safe from love of the heart, therefore, we have a false sense of security and of not being hurt.... that which I have never done to him.

I would be in heaven in this relationship - IF only HE could / would give to Me emotionally as I give to HIM...... *big sigh*