You mentioned more than once that you feel disrespected when the ex is brought up to you. Could you please say more about this feeling of disrespect?
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no matter how unfaithful and destructive she was he(bf) was faithful and devoted to her and that I should respect that.
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I am puzzled by his comment. It sounds like the friend was suggesting that you were somehow doing something wrong, that you were somehow disrespecting your bf. No wonder you got upset! Can you say more about what the friend might have meant by this comment?