" New goal is to rid myself of all the torture, to get what's inside out and allow a normal amount to stay but not the amount I hold onto up to now. " quote Underground

This is the very first step towards "healing" Underground. It's very possible you are much like that little boy who was so afraid when his father might not come home that he hid in his closet. It is time now to embrace that little boy and help him understand that he can feel afraid and still survive, it's ok to "feel" frightened, you are after all, just human.