Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyrevan21
Honestly, for as long as I can remember, I've been pretty shaky in the self-esteem department. I remember as a kid, I used to apologize even when I didn't need to (and I still have that habit; it's something that one of my therapists -- a group therapist, to be more precise -- is trying to break me out of), I was diagnosed by a psychologist as being a people-pleaser, and I always felt different. I had a learning disability when I was a kid that made it hard to concentrate and stay focused, and I still kind of struggle with that now. And I also occasionally have problems trusting my own opinions, my own judgment, and I tend to beat myself up a lot -- thinking I'm a bad person, things like that.
Maybe it's time to change that, though. And hopefully I can find a way to fix it, because I know I'm tired of falling into the same patterns over and over again.
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Dear ladyrevan, I have struggled too. I am a people pleaser, and I was married to a verbal abuser. But when I was a kid I remember when I was confident, my mother was disapproving, and she was always putting herself down, too. She didn't like me being too confident. When I was a teenager I went back and forth between confidence and low self esteem. I think part of it is depression. I apologize all the time. People get annoyed with me for it. But it is such a habit, it is hard to break. I hope you are able to make progress on this, it is great that you are in group therapy! I have read that positive self talk is one way to stop your negative self talk. I have struggled with trusting my own opinions etc.....but I am getting better at it. You sound reasonably intelligent. I bet you can think of some times that your decisions and opinions turned out pretty well or accurate. Having positive support, whether it is from friends or therapists is a good first step.