Hi paralyzingcloud,

Welcome to PC,

I can relate to a lot of what you say. I too have a life most people would be glad to have, but the black dog of depression can be truly savage.
I also relate to the touch defensive feelings!!

This is a great place to share and find support.

There are a lot of people here who have similar experiences and issues to yours who will understand.

The best way to benefit here is to be as active as possible, posting your own threads as well as contributing to others. That way those who 'get' you have the best chance of finding you.

Initially your posts will be moderated before they appear, but after the formalities, they will come up immediately. Once you have 5 posts you can use the chatrooms. There are hosted chats on a range of topics which may be interesting to you. Ask someone from the Community Liaison team if you have any questions at all, or if you need a listening ear.

People here have helped me through some dark times and I hope you get as much encouragement from this community as I have.