Hello and welcome justdonewithlife,

I'm so sorry everything seems so hopeless and you feel unwanted and burdensome.
That hurts so much and it's not your fault.

This is a great place to find like minded people who care and have learned ways to cope with extreme mental pain. The best way to find them is to post as much as you can wherever you feel might be relevant. The more active you are, the more likely the 'best' people are to find you (and you them).

Once you have 5 posts you can use the chat rooms and there are facilitated chats on both anxiety and depression with sensitive facilitators.

People here have helped me through some dark times and I hope you get as much encouragement from this community as I have!