Anxiety rising a bit but not too bad at the moment compared to what it was before. Just feel a bit unsure of myself tonight after a few days of feeling stronger than that. I like the idea that everyone fits somewhere in the world but I'm not sure I really believe it tonight. And there are too many nights like tonight. It makes you construct a defense mechanism that is ultimately self-defeating. I know all this but instinct is instinct so instead of dreaming of a better life I'm already looking down and preparing for the fall (which can make the fall inevitable if you look for it for too long). Maybe it's just tonight.