Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
Just because I'm NOT good with kids (especially small ones) doesn't give me the RIGHT to be a BAD parent.
Just because your H isn't good with emotions doesn't give him the right to be hurtful to you. Part of the responsibility of marriage is learning about the other person & not forcing them to just accept you & their hurtful ways. It's to change & to be sensitive to the other person & if they TRULY LOVE you they won't want to be hurtful & will want to learn ways of responding to you that aren't hurtful. THAT IS WHAT TRUE LOVE IS ABOUT.....not just tolerating someone & dealing with them because they are basically good in other ways.
Marriage is 2 becomming one, not about being hurt because the other one is just a nice & good, insensitive jerk. Marriage is about growing & adapting & changing behaviors that hurt the other person if you want to have a truly happy & successful marriage.....& being from a different culture is NO EXCUSE for treating the other person badly. If there is true love they wouldn't want to in the first place & they would want to change if they knew their behavior was hurtful to you.
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I agree with what you said. I have basically stated that to him many times and that I told him that he needs to respect my boundaries and my feelings more and that I shouldn't have to always be pleasing him and other people when I don't want to. I told him that's not being selfish and that he can't force me to change.
Long story short, he finally let up, and he treats me better now. He is OK most of the time. He doesn't call me "weird" that often. Maybe he'll say that I eat "weird" foods as a joke, but I don't mind that. I call him a boring old fart at times, ha ha. That's how we are. I can't force him to listen to me, so I don't. At least he'll give me his honest opinion on things, good or bad when I ask him for it.
That'd be great if he were Mr. Sensitive, but he's not always like that. I have managed to teach him to be more thoughtful over the years, but he'll always be rough around the edges. I see your point. I'm just saying that he can't really change his core behavior.