All my life, it's been difficult to meet my mom's expectations and I always felt like I never measured up.

I'm over 30, an adult, with my own life and yet she continues to make comments which are deriding, rude, and insulting. The last time she insulted me and made very off-color remarks were in front of everyone last holiday. Of course, when everyone was seated for dinner. Ugh.

My mom is WELL aware her comments and insults are not welcome and she knows they're not nice things to say. My siblings have talked to her about the way she speaks to me and nothing changes. My siblings tell me our mom didn't grow up in a culture where people needed to use etiquette speaking to each other, and how she doesn't have the ability to use a "filter." IMO, I call bs on that because I see the way she speaks to others and treats them...and it's always so much nicer.

At this point in my life, I manage depression well and have few triggers. But my mom has said things to me that have caused me to end up in deep depression, affecting my health, academics, energy, etc. I've told her the things she says aren't welcome or very nice. There were times where I flatly said "this isn't up for discussion anymore." Of course, she accuses me of being "sensitive" and complains how she's my mother and she should be able to tell me what she wants.

I know this isn't going to end. My family has a lot of major events going on this year and I will definitely have to deal with her. What I don't understand is why I allow myself to get such hurt feelings over her stupid words. I don't have to please her anymore or win her approval. I think most of the time I'm just so shocked by what she says I don't know how else to react.