I lost my job to depression. I lost my friends to depression. My self esteem is gone. I have been getting help for my depression and I thought I was getting better. I touched base with a friend to see about starting over again and she basically reminded me of every mistake I made while being her friend. In my mind I don't try to give attitude or be *****y. I don't even realize I am doing it until someone points it out. I give up. I am trying and no one thinks I am worth another chance. This friend even told me my other friend started to self harm because of my influence. I cried and had to skip classes. I feel so guilty. I don't know if I want to resume any friendships anymore. Apparently I am to bad of a person for friends. I am not getting the forgiveness I wanted from friends. Idk how to forgive myself. I feel like a monster. I am afraid I am choosing this. Idk what to do. I don't want to be alone.