My therapist does relational psychoanalysis. I don't lie on a couch but sit across from her, face to face. There is not any "initial" chit chat when she opens her door and invites me into her office. Her smile is warm and she greets me by my name, but she ALWAYS sits and waits for me to open the session. I like that. My last therapist, who I liked, was very chatty and bubbly and she would ask a lot of initial questions about my week. I kind of like having complete control over what we're going to begin with and how and when I'm going to present it.

If I want to have a session with some humor or casual chit chat, my current therapist doesn't try to cut me off. She likes a good laugh and she isn't against a bit of off topic political talk if I want to grouse about the state of our country, but she'll get me back on track gently. She has time for me outside of session if I desire. I'm not much for calling as I hate the phone, but I'll send an occasional email following a session if I want to process something. I always say that she does not need to reply, but she'll always let me know she received the email with a short "thanks" or "good things to talk about more".

Our sessions aren't dead or one-sided. Relational psychoanalysis is very much about what's happening between the two of us. We both need to "own" our side of what's going on and we really examine indepth what's going on in a very deep and honest way. She is not a "chatty" person, but she is definitely NOT a blank slate. I can ask her how she's feeling about something that is going on in session or how she perceives something I've said and she will honestly respond. I find that I think deeply about the topics we talk about and more than therapy I've had in the past, I'm much more interested and driven to go even deeper. I felt ready for this approach at this point in my life and I've found it very helpful. But I do think that it is HER approach and HER personality that has made this approach click for me. She is calm, unflappable, honest, intelligent and willing to own her own stuff--I like that! Nothing is ever off the table when we're engaged.