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I don't know what the trauma is, I could guess it's very bad. I'm sorry for what you've had to see, I'm sorry for the people suffering you see too. The risk imo is that it can send you into an episode when you've got bp (even non bp people too). So it's a good idea to catch it before it leads to something really bad, like things an episode can cause.
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I wouldn't say it's that bad... but who knows. Quite a few people I known did crumble under the pressure.
So I guess it's bad in its own way.
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What are you into? Do you have a close friend you can unload and cry to process the trauma? (I don't have many real life people like this personally).
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Honestly, I lately have no "normal" friends. We talk, but some of them have been through much worse (after all my city is not bombed, evacuated of all normal people and under control of separatists yet; I have no serious war wounds and all that). So I rather try to be the happy and cheerful one for them. Maybe it is taking bit toll on me.
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I don't have a therapist right now except mother nature. I went to the trees and cried. What's the point? I asked. She actually gave me an answer.
I went to the ocean and asked questions. She gave me answers.
I especially like to find an isolated psychic vortex type of location and connect, ask for healing, ask what to do with the heavy weights on my mind.
I go out to look at the moon and stars, I get filled up on mama love from the moon. It's very personal, but sometimes it's like she/ the moon is the only one who gets me & sees my pain.
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It's too cold and rainy these days to go to the nature... though maybe I could go to some other magical places in PRG. Lately I been going only on protests and events and pickets. Really, I created a whole alternative map. I realized I don't even call some places by their real name anymore.
So maybe I do need more me time and more time to just enjoy the beauty of things.
Thanks a lot. This helped somewhat.
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