hey all been looking at this thread for a bit following it even though i haven't contributed but thought i'd pipe in. can relate to so much of what you all say. right now i'm in a funk over something that happened yesterday. when we moved to this community in the middle of nowhere a couple of years ago and went to a community potluck dinner i was asked to volunteer on their "entertainment committee" i was a lot more optimistic than i am now (ha) and said sure. so these older women took me under their wing and i even got to play cards with them once a week that summer. i was told i would be the treasurer of this committee but that never really happened.
well the committee dried up because no one cares if there are community dinners or not. people didn't show up. people get busy. whatever. i never see them now but the one who used to call me a bit still reaches out now and then. i have become leary of her because of many things. i get the feeling she thinks my marriage is bad and she will come over to bring us some hand me downs and i feel like she looks around to check on how clean my house is, my kids. like she might call authorities if i don't meet standards. idk i'm sure i'm paranoid too.
so last weekend i used the community pool for the second time ever, by myself. husband stayed home with kids. and i was alone down there. it was absolutely wonderful. yesterday she calls wanting to bring over some hand me downs from her grandkids and just to get together. this after almost a year of them not including me anymore. maybe it's genuine but people here just get their nose in other people's business i have a feeling she was going to chastise me about swimming by myself and the dangers.
so i didn't answer the phone. and i texted her saying thank you so much but we really don't need the hand me downs maybe someone else could use them. and i felt like a jerk about it all day. passed her too on the street later in our cars and she had a look on her face driving like a bat out of hell. didn't acknowledge me.
i don't know why i felt so guilty. probably cause i knew i was trying to avoid her even if my text just said no thank you for the clothes. and i think she knew it too.
i've been burned too many times by overly sensitive women who get offended if i sneeze wrong i guess. i'm a little sorry for having probably ended the friendship yesterday, from how it feels, but i just can't deal with this crap anymore.
sorry for the long rant.