My first psychotic episode was definately my worst one in terms of fear. My whole world was full of secret messages, which I still get but it's nowhere near like it was like in my first episode. Most of my memory of it is a blur. I believed the neighbors were in on it, the media and people from a game I used to play on my phone. It got to a point where the only thing I could do was isolate to try n get away from it all. But then the voices started so I had no escape from it all. I debated whether or not suicide was an option but I was too scared to actually do it. Then something weird happened I turned the radio on and Bob marley 3 little birds came on and the lyrics felt like a direct message to me. The next few days/weeks all I listened to was bob marley and it seemed to pull me back from the edge. I had no idea just how much music could affect people. This might sound stupid but bob marley literally saved my life. I now use bob marley songs to drown out the voices on a bad day. The whole experience made me question music's role in society. But now I get targeted by various celebrities in songs basically mocking me but one in particular is helping me with songs about me or ones that reference me. It's all very strange I know but what is normal? I would go more in depth but there's so much to type lol