as you were writing you were letting out deep feelings, wondering if others would be able to understand. as i write you, i have the same feeling of hope that i will make sense. the abuse must stop. i have found two ways that are helping me prevent the abuse from happening again. i hope it continues to work. it is so hard!!!!! are we big poster signs walking around saying "willing victims?" what's up, why? here is what i do to prevent further abuse? first, if i see one sign of abusive behavior, no matter how slight, i don't give any excuses. i am out of there. second, i try to let go of the guilt, so i can get back in the game of love and life. this will make me a happier and better person for the people that i love THAT ARE REALLY IMPORTANT. third, i keep the abuse clearly in my mind, and then say "i don't deserve that"! hope some of this may help you too. does anyone have more insight?