Hello all,
I'm wondering if it is possible to have ptsd, or something similar from the situation I am in. A little background: I've been married for 4 years now and have 2 children with my husband. He has a daughter by someone else he was previously with. This woman had made my life a living hell for years. She has relentlessly harassed me, threatened me, has shown up on my doorstep at 1 in the morning pounding on my door and threatening myself and my kids to the point where I had to call 911 because she would not leave and I was afraid she was going to bust my door down. That has happened twice. About a year and a half ago, I found out my husband had been having an affair with her the entire time we were together. To make things worse, I was 7 months pregnant when I found this out. It was absolutely hands down the worst, lowest, darkest point in my life. Just typing this out has my heart rate up and my eyes tearing up. I was torn on what to do, and have not told anyone about this, because I know if I did no one would understand why I decided to stay with my husband. Since then, he has cut all unnecessary communication with her and solely communicates with her for things having to do with their 10 year old daughter. He is open with me and allows me to access his phone and anything else and I do believe with all my heart he has remained faithful to me since then and will continue to do so. The problem is that whenever I think of it, or she comes up (she is the mother of my step daughter so she will be in my life forever) my heart races, I get the shakes, uncontrollable twitching and severe anxiety to the point that when I finally am able to calm down I feel exhausted and drained. She has used the fact that he cheated on me to emotionally torture me, I've blocked her on social media, but she has gone so far as to make a fake profile to send me messages explaining in explicit detail what my husband and her have done while I wasn't home. What I've typed doesn't even cover half of what I have gone through with her, and might sound like nothing compared to what some people have been through and I understand that. But I know I have some kind of anxiety disorder and I can't afford to see a counselor or doctor at this point. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice or input. Thanks in advance