Thanks ciderguy.

Just from this your post, I sensed that you have a keen understanding of what is going on in and out of you, and you have a sharp eye by noticing how many posts (I have much less number of threads) I've generated in less than two months.

I do exactly what you are trying to do for me; to help others even if I cannot help myself. I stumbled on different threads of yours, but you tend to write long threads, which is problematic for me because I have concentration issues. But I am always trying to help others.

I used to play video games, but they triggered in me the same depressing feelings; spending too much time on them.

As for others are gentle and caring, I am sure they are. It is more my perception. I think the original poster will have a kind of expectation that makes him/her sensitive to what others say. Ironically, today, someone told me that I am somehow made her feeling worse, even though my intention was to help her, or at least give her an insight. So, I understand what you are saying. It is also of my nature to start heated and cool down afterward.

For me I think I have social anxiety (I haven't been diagnosed of anything officially because I hate going to therapists). Being around people put me on fight or flight mode. I am also very sensitive to others' gestures. Anything will trigger in me a series of thoughts that will put me in depressing mood. I have very low threshold to frustration. When trying to talk to people, especially girls, I become socially awkward, and say stupid things, and my mind goes blank. So, basically I've isolated myself for about 6 years now. I don't have friends or relationships, and this makes my life means nothing. That is why I am losing interests in everything, and my job is jeopardized.