Just been reading through your message and others. I'm going through kind of the same situation at the moment. I really hesitate to say that, as everyones situation is valuable to them. But it seemed so familiar.

My t is very relaxed on boundries, and I suppose I have been ok with it up until recently. I felt as if I may get rejected or he would abandon me.
But I addressed it with him the other day, and immediately I felt in control. I felt I had made the best decision for me. I feel a hundred times better. So take your time. There may come a time where you feel able to address your concerns and you will feel more confident.