My partner and I both have severe anxiety, and we both have some form of PTSD (a part of mine partly relates to sex and physical contact). When we're fooling around and getting in the mood, it's hard for me to quiet my brain enough to enjoy myself. I think I'm starting to develop a drinking habit because of it, honestly (I drink in order to try and relax myself enough to have a good time). But even when I'm relaxed enough, my partner seems to have trouble relaxing, too, which usually ends up with one of us a crying mess because of anxious feelings of hurting one another or "not being good enough" or not actually finishing... That last one mainly because he's never actually finished while inside me, and we haven't even reached a climax together in several years now.

Does anyone else experience this? Are there any methods we can use to try and relax? Should we try to "start over from scratch"?