Quote:
Originally Posted by 1976kitchenfloor
Hello. as I read a lot of your post as a fellow DID who is currently stable I am wondering about times of stability. a am almost seventy years old now. Looking back I can see there have been, if I recall rightly , three periods in my life during which I was getting lost frequently. I couldnt make it through a day without 'someone else steeping out'. A day could last forever and I really got a lot of work done since I wasnt sleeping in the usual sense. I was nodding off and repeatedly switching perspective.
I would like to know your experiences re this. Do any of you have stable times that last for months or even years and then something happens and you are not here anymore? Are you aware that you are in pieces? Do you see yourself from outside of yourself?
Thank you for sharing with me. I do beleive that connecting with each other and hopefully finding common ground will help us.
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Thank you for sharing this and asking these questions!
I am still in the process of sorting out what, exactly, is happening with me.
I've been working with a counselor for almost 2 years. I do know, and have accepted and acknowledged, that there are 3 or 4 distinct parts of me. They work together to protect the little one.
As far as one of them "stepping out," I'm not sure that I know that just yet. I believe the more I am actually "experiencing" and "knowing" the dissociated times, the more it will come to make sense.
What I have been experiencing and am actually working through today, is waking up "gone." I usually sleep really "hard" and don't hear my alarm when this happens. When I get up and try to get my day started, I don't feel like myself. It happens on different levels/intensities. Sometimes it's so intense that I feel drunk. Other times it just the "off" feeling like something is not right. It usually feels like I've dreamed something that I can't remember and my brain strains to try to see it. It's very draining.
My hands and feet are tingling typing this reply.
My memories are flashbacks of things that I remember about explosive situations, then it's like someone turns off the TV. I don't remember anything past a certain point. I'm wondering if my mind is going back to certain points and trying to process it, but something won't give it access.
Does that make any sense?