I'm not quite in a sexless marriage, but I fear I'm almost there. I'm the Mrs. btw. I used to have a VERY strong libido, very demanding, from what I understand. Well, he's always been more blase about it. In the past year +, I have had severe dyspareunia (pain with intercourse). I have had 3 surgeries, one injection , and the equivalent of a full year of physical therapy. It has helped reduce the pain to a bearable level, but all the medical stuff has destroyed my self-esteem and have so many strangers messing with my most private areas has been indescribably traumatic and dehumanizing.

Now my husband is scared to touch me. When he does it's a five minute (tops) release for him. Then he's asleep. I feel so objectified and hopeless.

I can't have a sexless marriage. I can't thrive that way. But I see no other options that we haven't tried. I feel like it's over between us. There's no passion or intimacy left. Just duty. Domestic partners. I hate it. I just don't understand how a marriage can be happy and complete without it.

Thanks for sharing your observations, though I'm not sure I fully understand them. Maybe I just can't let myself yet, because when I do, then I will feel like all hope really is lost. Still, it's a very interesting discussion. Hope I didn't come off as hijacking it.