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Feb 24, 2016, 02:05 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,171
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1976kitchenfloor
Hello. as I read a lot of your post as a fellow DID who is currently stable I am wondering about times of stability. a am almost seventy years old now. Looking back I can see there have been, if I recall rightly , three periods in my life during which I was getting lost frequently. I couldnt make it through a day without 'someone else steeping out'. A day could last forever and I really got a lot of work done since I wasnt sleeping in the usual sense. I was nodding off and repeatedly switching perspective.
I would like to know your experiences re this. Do any of you have stable times that last for months or even years and then something happens and you are not here anymore? Are you aware that you are in pieces? Do you see yourself from outside of yourself?
Thank you for sharing with me. I do beleive that connecting with each other and hopefully finding common ground will help us.
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there is no way for me to count how many times I experienced any one of my dissociative symptoms. I was abused as a very young child before the age of 5. this resulted in my having DID. because my mind created DID type alters during that extreme abuse before age 5 having my DID\dissociative symptoms is something I grew up with having all my life, it was my normal.
one way to understand this is to look at a food item you have had all your life, it may be beans or potatoes or lemons. something you grew up with having almost every day of your life, now try and go back and count how many times that lemon made your mouth water, how many times that potato tasted grainy, how many times those beans tasted good...
Having DID for me isnt something I can count out because like not having DID is a non mental disordered persons normal, and they cant count how many times they woke up normal, theres no counting how many times I woke up DID.
I can take a guess based on multiplying my age with how many days there are in a year but again that would only be a guess \estimate because ...
i have no idea what exact age my mind created that first alternate personality that would take control and how many times a day that alter would take control to where i was "waking up" to looking around and noticing new things through another alters eyes.
I have no idea how many alters there were, my treatment providers and I did not focus on counting alters and such because my location has strict standards for things like calling out specific alters, focusing on how many alters there are due to a situation called false memory syndrome false alters to impress a treatment provider (now called factitious disorder imposed on self) can happen in some people if their treatment providers focus too much on the alter side of things. and i had very little co consciousness with my alters so again for me there is no way to count how many times any one of my dissociative symptoms happened.
no I did not see myself from outside my body. in my location this is called psychosis. my treatment providers reasoning for this is because with dissociative disorders reality testing remains intact which means you may ....feel...a certain way but know what is real...
example if I told my treatment provider I....feel....like I can see myself outside my body that can be dissociation in my location.
if I say i saw myself while I was outside my body my treatment providers would ask me what happened to cause me to have an out of body experience (which is different than dissociation. example of this is paranormal activity that come with religious practices\ near death experiences\ and paranormal psychic phenomenon all of which the new diagnostics for DID now rules out in america as dissociation.
stable times that lasted months or years no not before my alters integrated\became one whole person with me again. dissociation is a reaction to a positive or negative trigger. in relation to me what that means is any time I got triggered (emotional, uncomfortable, nervous\anxious, stressed out...) which ever alters who's job, purpose reason for being was to handle that took control and did their job, purpose, reason for being created.
i was not aware that i was in pieces before I entered college and was diagnosed. Again having DID and everything it entails was my normal. I assumed everyone was like me and it was normal to hear voices, lose track of time, discover I had gone somewhere or done something that I could not remember...it was just normal for me to feel numb, spaced out and all that.
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