I'll be honest, I'm not sure. I have this not-sure-if-a-memory-or-not thing of my brother and I being in a tent in the backroom and Dad shaking it. My brother hasn't corroborated it though so for all I know, I had a bad dream or something. I don't think (have right to adjust this on further data) I was ever beaten as a kid. I know for certain that I do tend to beat myself up for being "selfish" a lot (or whatever). So maybe it's just transitioning out of any childhood insecurities into adulthood.