Quote:
Originally Posted by CassyO
Kind of - but not. I don't think I have a central 'me' for stable occasions. Rather, I have a me for every occasion, and if a situation occurs where there is no me suitable, I create one. But I do have periods of stable time - where the right me's are coming out for the right occasions, and things are working pretty well. And then something happens and all hell breaks loose. I don't understand (yet) what happens, or why, but there will be periods of time where I am just incapable of anything. As someone else in a different thread said - I just become a 'PTSD Pig' - the great unwashed, the post unopened, slovenly and barely functioning. Definitely the wrong me's for the wrong occasions.
I wasn't even vaguely aware, until I started Therapy and he shone a big ol' torch at it. Now I have days when I am acutely aware, and actively encouraging open communication. There are days where I begrudgingly accept that having a soul / personality in pieces is the only way to explain why I am the way I am. And there are plenty of days where I think I am 110% normal, nothing is wrong with me other than I am massively attention seeking, and that I should carry on with my life as if I never met my T.
As it happens - occasionally. It wasn't something I was aware of until recently, and I still have to remind myself to pay attention to the viewpoint. As it happens viewpoint is mostly through my eyes, but occasionally from behind me.
A lot of my memories are from above, or from behind me. Again, its something Im having to train myself to be aware of, but I think a lot more memories have this perspective than 'as it happens'.
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Hello. I truly appreciate you talking about this and sharing your thoguhts and expereinces with me. Understanding there is a process a reactive process going on helps somewhat. I do know what you mean when you talk about 'all hell breaks out.' Its like being in a bottle, shook up in a bottle and
poured out all over the place. Reactioning to triggers can be a lot like opening Pandoras Box.
Take care now.
Again, thank you for you insights.