During the past couple of weeks I have had what I guess is a panic attack just as I'm trying to fall asleep. During the panic attacks, which were terrifying, I was consumed with the idea that God is a monster...a demon, huge and absolutely merciless. Sadistic, cruel. I have never been so frightened in my life, there was no way out of the delusion or whatever it was.

A bit of background - I have been battling severe depression and anxiety following a breakdown some months ago. I have an appointment with a new pdoc on Monday, but I'm on a number of meds and such already.

I would sure appreciate some feedback. Has anyone else experienced this type of panic? Does this sound like brain chemistry gone haywire? Please tell me that God is not really a monster.