I'm mad and upset now since my husband was mean to me last night. He yelled at me to turn off the heater, so I did. Apparently I didn't turn it off, as he yelled at me again for being to drunk to turn it off.

I did drink a lot, but I KNOW that I turned it off. It takes awhile for the noise to die down. I got mad and yelled at him and told him to not yell at me. I pointed my finger in his face. He got really mad and I was afraid that he might hit me.

He never has, thank god. He is emotionally abusive and financially controlling though. He was OK for a long period of time, but then some stupid thing will make him snap! He's supposedly "normal" and he doesn't drink much or do any drugs.

He had a happy childhood and was not abused, so I don't get why he'd turn out to be this way! Anyways, I DID call the cops on him once a year ago. They did nothing, but he did have to leave the house and stay at a hotel. That was the ONLY time that I ever did that.

So he took away my phone when I went to sleep in the other room! UGH! Asshole! He also threatened to not get me a new laptop that he promised to get me. That is so childish! I admit that I shouldn't have been so aggressive and not have said some of the things that I did.

He might freeze me out for a week. I'm sorry for the rant. I'm going to hide my keys and my phone from now on. My whole purse actually. I have a lot of purses, so I can use one as a decoy, ha ha! I'll also have to make copies of my keys j.i.c he takes them away from me one day.

I drank since I'm on my period. I don't drink all the time. He hates it when I do drink though. I suffer from depression and lately I've been upset on top of having PMS about him not telling me what's going on with our mortgage. We're a few months behind on it, plus, we owe the IRS a lot of money, but he doesn't seem to be worried about it. At least it appears that he isn't. So maybe the stress finally got to him, idk.

Anyways, I said some mean things that I shouldn't have, and I regret that. I called him a ***** and that I'll have him arrested if he hits me. The thing is that we have an open relationship, but I don't go after other men. He just goes to massage parlors. I'm OK with it as I hate sex period. An ex raped me years ago, so maybe that has something to do with it, idk. It's better that he does that then cheat on me secretly.

He has a high sex drive, and that relaxes him so he's easier to be around. I then said that I'll tell everyone what he's really like, ugh! I never said a word about it until now except by telling one friend that I've known for years. That's not the real issue. It does bother me that he "forgets" to tell me when he sees these women like he promised me to. He claims that he only goes to those places once a month, but I sometimes worry that he does it more often and doesn't tell me about things. He recently paid less on my credit cards and now I get $50 less each week. He only gives me $200 a week and when I complain about things, he tells me that there are people out there with families who live on less than that.

Thankfully I'm still able to take money from the joint account still. He did threaten to take me off it a few times in the past after I took out some money w/o asking his permission to do so. I used to take money from his wallet too, but he now hides it in his car. He used to have hundreds of dollars in his wallet at a time, so it's not as if he didn't have money to give me.

Anyways, what can I do if he refuses to give my phone back to me, or worse, return it? It's fairly new. Also, he threatened to also not get me a laptop that he promised he'd get me as a punishment. He then called me a lazy ****. He's called me a ***** before, but not that. He has also called me fat and stupid before and when I told him to not talk to me in a nasty way, he yelled at me and told me that he'll talk to me anyway he pleases to! He refuses to see any counselor. He thinks that I'm the one with the problem, not him. He's NEVER EVER wrong, and he never apologizes for a damn thing!

I can't tell my parents about this as my dad is a sexist control freak like him. He'll only take his side and yell at me. Who needs that? My mom is stupid, and she can't keep her mouth shut, so I can't trust her. My sister won't really care about what's going on. She'll probably brush it off. She has some issues with her b.f too.

Thankfully we have no kids. I don't work, so he knows that he can control me. It's very hard for me to find any decent job as no one will hire me for most jobs since I have no college degree, only a h.s one. Also, I have two non violent misdemeanors on my record-

Things have been calm for a long time, but when he errupts when he's really stressed out about things, he'll tend to take things out on me. He's like a ticking time bomb that way. One time he got so nasty, he threw object around the room, and he knocked over the kitty tower. I got so scared that I called a friend up and asked if I could stay a few days at her place until things calmed down. I had no money for a hotel. She was kind enough to let me.

It was really stupid too. He got extremely angry with me for not having charged my cell phone one time years ago. I went to a friends B-day party, and it was far away, so I took the train there. Well, I stupidly assumed that the trains would run late since it was in a big city. I missed the last one, so I had to take a taxi. I was short on cash, so my cell phone was dead, so I had to use the cabbies phone to ask him if he could pay the cab driver so I wouldn't be stranded out there late at night. He hung up on me! Thankfully the cab driver was super nice and drove me back home for less than he would've charged someone normally. He accepted what I had. The next day, he yelled at me for not charging my cell phone and for not knowing the train schedule.

It was a mistake, but he acted like it was something that I do all the damn time! He then told me to always have enough cash on me to get back home, and that it was my fault for not being more responsible. I didn't anticipate missing a train! WTH? UGH! I secretly taped him on my phone and my friends were shocked at how angry and violent he sounded. He told me that all I care about is partying with my friends which is NOT true at all! I deserve a social life! I hardly go out with my friends or out much at all more than once or twice a month! That was so out of line!

There have been other incidents too, but almost none of them have been as bad as the above two fights. Except for one time when were visiting his parents in his home country. Well, I got separated from them at the mall when I went to use the bathroom. Neither of them told me that they'd be leaving the restaurant that we were at, and he didn't turn on my phone for over seas calls for that trip, so I was SOL. I panicked, especially since I knew no one there, and hardly anyone there spoke English. So when I finally saw them, I told him why they didn't tell me they were leaving. He then yelled at me, and called me stupid, and that I was freaking out and making a scene! His ***** mother doesn't like me, so she said nothing even when I cried in front of her. *****! I hate her still.

Thank God that she lives far away and that I don't have to see either of his jerk parents ever! They came over here once, and I fought with his mom who'd always rudely interrupt me and treat my house like hers. So I blew up in her face and his dads face, so they don't want to come back here ever, ha! He does visit them once a year though by himself now. He has given me grief int he past for not sucking up to his stupid queen bee mother and his rude friends.He's a huge momma's boy. Whatever!

I'm thinking about going to a counselor on my own, but he might not pay for things. Is there any place that I can go to that offers free or very low cost counseling? I do have insurance, but they only cover so much for mental health care. I do need someone to talk to. I can't leave him now, so please don't tell me to just get up and leave. I DO want things to get better.

How can I get him to treat me with respect and kindness when he's upset? Is it possible for him to change his ways or not? I'm afraid he might not. He once told me that if we get divorced, that I'd get nothing, not even the car. I know that's not true as we live in a 50/50 state. Why is he like this? I don't deserve this at all! He was in the army, and in a war, so maybe he has some weird PTSD thing going on that I'm not aware of? He seems normal, but the way that he acts is not normal. Also, he has a type A personality.