Omg this is awful. Are you safe right now?

is this the same man you said is nice and loving and only teases you about eating weird foods and when we said he is abusive you said you get along and he is very nice? I am confused. He sounds very scary. Nothing in your posts indicated that ! You are bring abused.

You've been living like this for 20 years? To top it off you are behind on mortgage and owe IRS? What is he planning to do?

You can work without college degree. Retail and some factories hire you. Retail in my area hires any time. No degrees needed. Get a job and start saving for leaving him. In a meanwhile I'd go into a shelter. You might qualify for public housing and he will spousal support after divorce.

I am scared for you. I also recommend AA. It is free and you might benefit from it

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