This is something that happens to me when my mind is active & thinking a lot, it can be set off by something like researching on the Internet. I get worked up, my mind races, I lose track of what I'm doing, I start multiple things at the same time, never finish them. Nothing happens fast enough. I open up like 10 Internet tabs & can't wait for a single one to load before becoming impatient. I get irritable & snappy. My heart rate accelerates, I get shaky, I feel like I have butterflies. I can't stop thinking, it becomes SO difficult to turn my mind back off & relax, it's like I don't want to, or can't. If my partners about I will launch a freaking lecture about what I've discovered, I get more worked up. Often becoming very very agitated & saying weird stuff, get aggressive.
It's become a problem when mood charting. I start thinking about my symptoms too much, try to connect all the dots & figure out exactly what's wrong with me. Then can't stop thinking if it's all in my head.
It's like my mind just starts expanding things, I start writing myself out lists of things that must be done, I start creating things & then I've got all this fairly useless stuff I feel l NEED to do to feel relaxed, usually none of these things can actually be achieved at the time.
My mind becomes jumbled, I feel upset, restless, confused, agitated & can't relax. I usually use drugs or alcohol to calm down. I don't know if this is bipolar related as I'm usually over it by the next day. Maybe my mood isn't all that great but my minds detached from what I was obsessing over.
Does anyone else have this or is it anxiety? It's stopping me from doing much & forces me to try & distract myself from thinking as soon as I'm feeling edgy so it doesn't go full blown. This inability to turn down happens when I'm in a state where my mind is still jumping from one thing to the next but actually able to produce. Sometimes at work I have these days where it's like WOW all my neurons are connecting today! & I become really productive. But when I get home I'm agitated & can't stop talking or thinking.
__________________
Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy.
Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn.
|