My husband and I are soul mates. We shared an instant connection, instant knowledge about one another and from that first moment we both wanted to spend our lives together. We've always had such an astoundingly good relationship and have always communicated extremely well. Our relationship was never perfect but close enough that it was ideal to the extreme.

Now we're married and shortly after we moved in I caught him in a lie, nothing real extreme but it was enough to hurt and disappoint me. Due to this we experienced a sudden "blow up" and ever since then our relationship has not been the same. He very suddenly and inexplicably stopped touching me, he stopped talking to me unless prompted and he stopped being outgoing altogether in our life together and became very withdrawn and unmotivated. He started wanting constant distractions and very little to no interaction. I started having insecurities and hold doubts about him, which is entirely unlike me and understandably so this caused me to react to him. I fear he doesn't want me, that he may not love me or feel the same way anymore, that he harbors anger toward me, that he's given up or most of all that he doesn't try or care enough. Now I feel extreme neediness with him and I don't know how to cope with these constant fears about our marriage.

His problem is the mistake he made has got him struggling with feelings of unworthiness which is something he's wrestled with all his life, not to mention the trauma from his childhood that made him have too high of expectations and think that everything is on his shoulders, that he couldn't share his burdens with others.

We have talked all this over many times and I help him all I can. I'm an extremely social person with the intense need for mental stimulation, interaction and most of all intimacy so this has posed quite the problem for me. Some days I have grown weak and threatened to leave in my loneliness and desperation for change. I struggle with not being in control because the ball has been in his court for a very long time now and without my help, for the most part, he avoids his problems, but I need him to take care of himself, to do his part in our marriage and to open up with me more.

I realize I could go on all night giving the details of this problem, but to put it simply my husband is not meeting his needs and therefore cannot meet mine and I don't know what to do. I welcome any and all suggestions and advice this community is willing to give.