(((((((((((Finestitcher))))))))))) Owwwie. I'm sorry you've been through so much pain.
I can relate to being afraid of men as I was abused by the hands of my bio father too but I don't think mine is as severe as yours. It really bites about your son- I hope he recovers. Is he married? What about his children? Ug!
I'm sending lots of good thoughts and wishes your way.
Ps. WELCOME TO PC!!!! I know you'll find a lot of amazing people with strong shoulders you can cry on and great advice.