"His problem is the mistake he made has got him struggling with feelings of unworthiness which is something he's wrestled with all his life, not to mention the trauma from his childhood that made him have too high of expectations and think that everything is on his shoulders, that he couldn't share his burdens with others."

Been there. Done that.

Check out CEN, Childhood Emotional Neglect, from the author of Running on Empty, Dr. Jonice Webb.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...tional-neglect
About Emotional Neglect | Dr. Jonice Webb

Take a look at her questionnaire. On pages 2 and 3 she provides a list of questions and behaviors that you can adopt of the parent of a child exhibiting CEN behavior.

Because of the way you described the situation, I suspect he is exhibiting CEN behavior and he needs the parent in you to step up and help him through the crisis. He doesn't know how to talk about it like you. He doesn't know how to ask for help. He just feels bad inside and for that reason he withdraws. If you help him get past this, he will go back to the loving and caring man you married.

If this works you can thank me later.

If this doesn't work, go to counseling. Not for him but for you. A counselor can help you develop coping skills so you are not so emotionally dependent on him.