hey T so,

im terribly sorry i scared you with that text i sent. i meant i was going to take those pills to go to sleep but when i saw u calling immediately after i sent i thought oh no he thinks im ODing. i said hello and the first thing u said in some hasty voice was HOW MANY DID U TAKE. umm, i feel so bad about that... really embarrassed. i apologized to you and said i didnt mean it like that and im sorry i scared you. you said its ok .. but also, t, if i were to do that, i wouldnt text u some vague suicide note. cuz i know the police would be at my door in no time flat. (seems like thats happened before...hmmmmmmm.....) anyway T, you told me to tell u how i am when i wake up so i did, i texted you and reported my night... worst akathisia of my life, nightmare abt my cat dying by peeing and bleeding all over me...but that when i woke up the voices were gone. its been 30 min and they still havent said anything. i am so relieved. i wonder where they go...are they always there? watching and listening and waiting? waiting to interject into my life again???

me