So my SO & I r very liberal & open about sex & discussing it with our children.
I came from a childhood of knowing nothing which just was a disaster & I always said I want my kids to know it all!
There's always that kid on the playground that seems to have all the sex answers & I want that to be my kid.
So

My 11yo now knows pretty much everything about male & female anatomy & the science behind sex. We use anatomically correct names & functions. I do fill her in on all the slang words for things so she is aware. We know this is a huge responsibility.
Last wk I found in her bed my vibrating face scrubber....which made me giggle. I've known for awhile that she masturbates & we've talked about it. A lot.
So she turns 12yo in 6 months & id like to buy her a vibrator. Her own. I'd like her to understand her body & know how to please herself so in the future she can explain it to her partner. Skip that weird fumbling date thing. Also that she understands that if a date doesn't go well, she has the option of coming home & taking care. That she knows what feels right & what doesn't.
She's very physically mature for her age. Very developed. But is her mind that developed.
That's the question.