It looks like you torture yourself with thoughts about failure before there is any reason to expect it. This is not unusual with MI, but it is self-destructive, and you are wanting help, so maybe you need to learn techniques to think more positive.

I find when my mood is down it's hard to think positive, but you can force yourself if you really try. Make plans, look forward to the future. Find something to get excited about!

I would bet when the time comes you will find strength inside yourself that you never knew you had. I have faced times I thought I would crumble under, but I rose to the occasion and did what had to be done, and was better for it.

Be kind to yourself and stop worrying so much!

Are you in treatment for your issues?