Thanks everyone. I think I finally understand this concept, which has been quite hard because it is not the way I think.

Even if I don't, I have actually found one area where self esteem matters even for me, and that is what I predict the outcome would be if I try something I don't know if I am good at or not. I guess someone with good self esteem would assume they could learn the new thing, while the one with bad self esteem would think maybe they will not learn. If it was anywhere near my believed capacity I would probably assume I would be quite awful at it at the beginning. Then see how I'd do. So I guess I'd end up somewhere in the middle?

There are so many self thingies really. Self worth (the most important one I think), self esteem, self like, self love... I've gone mad at self for messing things up. I have been disappointed in some physical aspects of self. My ego has been bruised. But even when I have been raging self hating, it has always been episodic and never lasted. I have also gone through phases of thinking I am better than I am. But I still seem to land at where I don't even reflect on self anything. I just exist and do my stuff.

But learning about these things is great because it means learning about how other people think. Which is a lifelong lesson (or should be at least).

Keeps my mind busy.