I think that what is labeled NPD has to be better examined and I think this diagnoses is being taken out of the DSM if I remember correctly. I think it's more important to consider the kind of injuries an individual has suffered that may have disrupted that individual from developing a healthy sense of Narcissism.

There is a difference between an individual growing up and trained/taught/encouraged to be too narcissistic and an individual who experienced trauma and neglect where they really struggled with finding a way to "self protect" and have a personal sense of control.

Life has a way of humbling a person and often someone who has been very narcissistic can soften with age. The fact that you have recognized that you want to make a change and let go and figure out how to just be happy in your life is an important step and it can mean you have started to soften to a point where you may be more receptive to opening up instead of "defending". Softening doesn't have to mean "weaken" either, instead all it has to mean is allowing one self to open up to learning and IMHO, letting go of the ideal of "perfection" because as I have mentioned, there really is no such thing, at best it's just an illusion of. Oddly, life can go by while chasing an illusion and it's quite possible you are beginning to recognize that with this loss of your father.