It's been a while since I've even looked at this page, but It's been a rough couple of weeks. I had some progress but it's felt like I've been sinking to the same hole I've been in for months. I've been drinking by myself again a few times and my mom's been really stressed by work for a while so it's been a bit hard to lean on her. On top of that one of my best friends seems to be feeling as lost, depressed and drunk as I am even though he's in uni studying a subject that really seems like his thing. I called the number my family doctor gave for a psychiatric nurse a couple of weeks ago but even though I called ten minutes before her calling hour had ended it went to voicemail. It really bummed me out even though it's not really a major issue.

I'm in a very bad place right now and I feel like I'm sinking deeper. I'm supposed to reapply to uni this spring and go to the army this summer and I'm falling apart. My self-destructive thoughts have returned and I don't know where to go.