Dear T,

Our appt is tonight and I'm wondering if I'm the last appt. I makes me happy to be last as our appt will stretch long beyond the hour. I feel catharsis the moment my car pulls into the parking lot. Sometimes I've mused that I could stop seeing you and just park in the lot a couple times a week. But I also hate that I feel that way. I hate that I miss you and I hate how much I look forward to our appts. I hate that I need you, that I'm growing more vulnerable. I'm scared. Why does it have to be this way to do good work? You know feel stuff.

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