I think my pdoc probably is opposed to the gabapentin because it hasn't helped enough in the past and I've never tolerated enough for it to work. I was on quite a bit while IP and it did help then but I still had to take hydroxyzine at least daily and all the changes I was going through made it hard to know what was what. The hospital dr seemed willing to give me a ton of it and like I said I had bad issues with it before.

I'm glad the ativan is helping. I was on it for several years and then changed to klonopin when I was IP the first time for a reason I do not recall. I know that there is a lot of opposition to benzos but I think like nearly any treatment there are times when they are just needed and nothing else will do it. I really hope to try not being on benzos sometime but it's not a priority.

I do have the advantage of going to a big hospital for psychiatry and so when my pdoc decides to retire she would refer me to someone who isn't opposed and will have had a discussion with my current dr about why I have been using them. I also have a long-time relationship with my pdoc and know she wouldn't prescribe it unless she felt it was necessary so I just trust that it is what I need even though sometimes I feel pretty anxious about it after reading things online.