IrisBloom: yes, its torture and i cant think positive since its the future that gives me more troubles with anxiety. i see all black. how can i imagine something positive when i dont believe it could even happen? that would be deluding myself. and i cant get excited about anything anymore. have lost any interest about anything. im seeing a psychiatrist, a regular T and and DBT T.

Fuzzybear: i cant practice mindfulness. i honestly find it meaningless for me. but thank you for the encouragement.

Superfly: yes, i think too much. i dont have hobbies, interests, activities to do or that i enjoy anymore. except coming here online.

RxQueen: thanks for understanding. as isaid i see the docs but they dont seem to help

RomanSunburn: i do write everything in the posts here and in a journal i keep but it doesnt help much i feel like im going crazy.

Thanks everyone for responding,
im just having a bad day (again)