I think I knew for many years, but wouldn't let myself have the thought. I kept it walled off from me.

Finally, evidence of his infidelity smacked me in the face. And he knew I knew. I think I had known for a long time, really, but pushed that knowledge away. And just kept trying to make the marriage work. Held out hope. I was in such denial.

When I had this in my face evidence, I had to confront him. One of the hardest talks I've ever had. He said we didn't have to let his desire for sexual partners outside of our relationship put an end to our marriage. He told me it was natural for humans to have multiple partners, and he wasn't going to deny the natural way of things. And I should have other partners too--he wouldn't mind. I told him it was the end of the road for me.

That was about 2 years ago. It has taken me that long to become functional enough and strong enough to divorce. I told him 4 months ago I wanted a divorce, and we are in the early stages of divorce proceedings.

((((Rhapsody))))